Friday, August 04, 2006

Warning: Cash Michaels Alert - Comedic Value Only

Ok folks, we appear to have lost our minds and have just posted a link to Cash Michaels. It appears that Cash has decided it is time to throw Jakki under the bus. It's a bad day to be the false accusers spokesliar when even Cash doesn't have your back. Cash reports that DPD did investigate the $2 million payoff claim he reported as told to him by Jakki and "confirmed" unnamed moderate Black leaders. It appears that an investigation by DPD and the false accussers own words have discredit Cash's unnamed moderate leaders and Jakki, his own star witness. Next thing we know, Cash will be on the "Jakki is a man baby" bandwagon. The Theater of the Absurd has again exceeded itself with Jakki's claim that "They" are out to discredit her. We can only assume, from the article, that "They" would be the DPD officers who discredited her claims, the other false accuser who discredits her claim and the defense attorneys who were kind enough to pass the information along to Cash.

Enjoy as the Durham Theater of the Absurd presents the Cash Michael's sponsored production of:

She's A Man and A Liar, Baby!


Anonymous said...

Of course the shoe may be on the other foot if Jakki & Co. SOLICITED hush money from Dukies. That be a crime, too.

Walter Abbott

ME said...


That has to be the most bizarre article I’ve read in years.

Cash does indeed throw Jakki under the bus. He jettisoned her more surely than did Sheehan give the rogue DA the old heave-ho six weeks ago. That Jakki mug shot under the “Internal Police Memo” header was about a subtle as a 90 mph freight train.

But that’s where it really started to get interesting. First, Cash made a number of references to “a [Wilmington Journal] reporter” when he talked about documents being received and Jakki being interviewed. What Cash is doing here is distancing himself from this whole absurdity.

Then there is Cash’s trashing of Himan (and to a lesser extent) Gottlieb. New news here. Maybe Cash has come to the conclusion that somebody has to take a bullet in order to try to save the case; and Himan is the low man in the DPD food chain on the case?? Or maybe Cash is trashing Himan in order to make Nifong look good by comparison?? Or maybe Cash got around to actually reading some of the underlying documents are now realizes what a cluster the investigation really was?? Or maybe Cash is actually PO’d at the whole Blinco’s affair?? I don’t know, but I do know that if I try to get too far into Cash’s head, my head will just start to pound. (One further side trip here though—Hey Cash, if you’re reading this, why don’t you write an article on the BALD cop Blinco’s affair and stir the pot a bit there?? That pot wouldn’t be a “crock.”)

And there was this gem: “Those sources not only maintained their original stories, but, for the first time, indicated that black intermediaries representing the alleged but unidentified person or persons concerned, were the ones who actually did the talking.” Talk about stretching the “six degrees of separation” theory to the limits. Why will no one be surprised when Victoria Peterson’s name eventually surfaces to connect the dots.

And of course there was Jakki’s obligatory nondenial but persistent reference to the actress, comedian and nightclub entertainer resume.

Cash hasn’t given up the ghost entirely though. Notice how he carefully documents the date and content of the email that Cheshire, et al sent to “a reporter.” Not a very subtle reference to post July 17 hearing documents and information.

And just for a little more comedic relief, someone may have just sent the following email to The Wilmington Journal (couldn’t find Cash’s direct email address):

Subject line: Cash and Cousin Jakki

The Wilmington Journal,

You have got to install a reader comments function at the Cash Michaels' column.

Cash's "Cousin Jakki" columns and the reader comments that would surely follow could be compiled and the rights later sold. I'm sure the on-again off-again $2 million could be raised through the sale of those gems.

Oh, by the way, please pass this on to Cash when you see him.


LieStoppers, love your reference to the “Theatre of the Absurd.” How apropos, huh.


ME said...

Oh yeah, forgot to mention one other item I noted. Jakki's paranoia (as noted by LieStoppers) may be approaching the level now exhibited by Captain Queeq Nifong.
Maybe Walter Abbott is on to something.

Dilemma: Rogue DA or Captain Queeg Nifong. Captain Queeg Rogue DA Nifong...too cumbersome; will work on it.


Anonymous said...

Wait a second, is Cash saying that we have black intermediaries talking to black moderates about silencing the black transvestite and makeup designer, the black hooker and flexeril user or the black loudmouth Victoria Petersen

I am getting confused about what the Dukies are getting for their 2 big bills.

Cash's prose style is hard to follow.

skate is an idiot said...

Does it seem plausible that Cash wrote this retraction to avoid a lawsuit for printing the bogus accusation in the first place? Is it odd the Cash takes the time to investigate the police report but takes not time to investigate the baseless claims that got him in this mess in the first place. Is Cash really Jakki?

Anonymous said...

I think it is plausible that Cash was hoping to take a cut of the 2 million if Jacqui made her/his score.

Anonymous said...

I guess by "out-of-the-loop", CGM meant that Jakki isn't in on the nightly strategy sessions, CGM has been holding with her lawyers on how to make maximize profit, while minimizing exposure to a perjury prosecution.

I heard through intermediaries that Mr. Gary's exact words were "dump the tranvestite if you want the cash, honey"

I sense a cat fight brewing on Charles Street in Durham.

Anonymous said...

I don't think even Cash knows what he is saying. As long as it's white bashing it'll be read, senseless as it is.


Got MILF? said...

Cash refers to CGM's "handlers" - Are "handlers" pimps or clients?

Anonymous said...

More from Cash Michaels, and it's not half bad. Apparently he wants to pursue the alleged attack on the black cook by Durham PD officers. He's keeping Gottlieb in the public eye.