Wednesday, October 25, 2006

All Flash and no Cash

Youngest daughter's last boyfriend was a sweet-talker. Always happy to oblige with whatever you wanted to hear...never in the least obligated to follow-through. Time and time again we saw the pattern. "Say anything" must have been emblazoned on the family crest. A few weeks ago, she sighed and said, "Mom. I have to believe I can do better than that." I answered with an expression from my era, "Honey, all Flash and no Cash." Which brings me to the topic I'd like to talk about.

What is up with Cash Michaels? Talk about all Flash and no Cash! For weeks now, I've been waiting in my satin gown, prisoner in the tower... for Cash, my Knight in Shining Armor to arrive. He seemed to indicate... here, there and everywhere on the blogosphere... that he was about to slay the Dragon of the Hoax, and free me to return to my previous non-blogging life. I swear... once or twice, I saw him, on his steed, the golden sword in his hand... just a few miles from the Muddled Moat that so few journalists have ever been able to broach. Galloping... galloping… almost here... then, he stops (oh, no!)... changes course and heads back into the Fog of Fongdom. I slump back from the tower escarpment, a rejected Rapunzel, reeling up her golden hair. Wait! There he is his again. Galloping, galloping, (oh, no!) Sir Joyner stopped him in his tracks. This exhausts me. Cash just seems so easily distracted. Methinks, he has no interest in crossing the moat... methinks he likes the fact that I (and the others in the tower) are fixated on the possibility of his potential arrival. He likes that we're watching. He likes the attention. He's just going to be Sir Flash in the Pan... not Sir Cash our Main Man. Folks, I have to believe… it's time to stop believing.

Tis a pity. Cash is an intelligent, articulate man. He has a moment in time here where he could define himself forever. Cash could be the Lord of the Unraveling, disclosing the foul deeds of the Hoaxer of Fong to the local electorate... and ensuring a Kingdom where the Justice had an honored place at the Round Table once again. But, not gonna happen, I think. His intelligence tells him this case is an abomination, but like so many others… there are spells upon him he just cannot break. Cash is just not brave enough to confront the Hoaxer of Fong, or even the prolific minor gremlins that surround the Hoaxer. Cash says just enough on BOTH sides… to be able to pull up a quote to defend any position. He is Sir All-Over-The-Place... never Sir Brave-in-your-Face. He tries to spin, and schmooze and have it both ways. Cash, no one... not even you... is THAT good with words. We see what you're doing. You think if you keep charging toward the tower, we'll forget that EVERY time, EVERY SINGLE TIME you stopped DEAD in your tracks. A girl can forgo the shining armor, Cash, but, eventually you've got to cross the moat or... you're on the Other Side.

Yes, you are Prince Charming at times... but charm wears thin. Methinks, Cash, you'll be horsing around out there on that Steed... and never see that the Maid in the Tower and those bandits around her… have broken out on our own... and subdued the Hoaxer of Fong all by ourselves. Maybe sooner. Maybe later. But we are armed with courage, conviction, determination. We know where we stand. Better yet, we TAKE a stand. When the "Happily- ever- afters " are written... you, Cash… may just turn out to be a faded Once-upon a Time.
Joan Foster


Anonymous said...

Another great piece, Joan. Your words, however, are much too kind for a racist coward like Cash.

Anonymous said...

That's the beauty of being a journalist who strives to provide "balance." You never have to take a position.
Perfect for cowards...

gc said...


Thank you for another wonderful article. You can understand if people are all that bright and just don't get it. It is another story when you have that power within your grasp, yet turn your back on the truth in order to promote your own agenda. Cash is a disappointment.

Anonymous said...

Cash did have a chance to expose the truth here. I thought he was going to do it. He was headed for the end zone but fumbled on the one yard line. I think his moment has passed.

Anonymous said...

In my book, Cash has lost his credibility.