Friday, November 17, 2006

Brodhead's Morning Briefing

Good Morning, President Brodhead.
Did you enjoy your Cheerios?
Ready for your morning briefing, Dick?
Everything you need to know!
Prof Crowley wrote to the Herald Sun.
Unfortunately, he signed his name.
He wandered off the talking points.
It really was a shame.
Time and again we've told them, Dick,
To avoid this consternation
The trinity is... "American Pyscho,"
Racial Slurs, and Urination!
Gosh, Dick, do you think they'll ever learn?
Yes, he did just what we feared.
Tried to take on K.C. Johnson.
Called Cheshire some guy "with a beard."
Said his "source" that the kids were racists,
(are you ready for this one?)
Was "some article he read somewhere!"
No, Dick...I don't have your Tums.
Hey, look on the bright side.
At least Crowley did not opine
About our co-eds giving "hook-up"
Like Rosenberg did that memorable time.
Dick, don't look at me like that...
Please don't "Et tu, Brute?" me.
At least Crowley's stuff is readable
Unlike Holloways tortured screeds.
The alumni E-mails are pouring in...
Will they still donate and bequeath?
Your fancy footwork is falling flat.
Dick, please don't grind your teeth.
As for our fine feathered faculty,
My suggestion for the day?
Let's tell Ashley at the Herald Snooze
Ye Gads! Don't print anything THEY say!
Joan Foster


joan collins said...

Oh Joan,

This is wonderful. The trinity - I love it.

Forget the cheerios; Brodhead needs to eat some Wheaties-the breakfast of champions!!

kbp said...

Thanks Joan

The humor you provide in your witty posts are something I look forward to.

Spineless Dick B.'s lack of leadership invited more problems to infect and grow in this case.

I can think of a good cure for this illness, and it's not a prescription you'll find at the local pharmacy (or any of the regular sources Precious used either!).

Anonymous said...

Excellent poem Joan! The trinity...Very clever.

Anonymous said...

A Trinity for Tinity College! LOL Joan you are the best!

Is this a new motto for Tinity College?

Vir prudens non contra ventum mingit

(A wise man does not urinate against the wind)

Durham in General?

Quid est illa in auqua? - What's that in the water?

Bill Anderson said...

I think that the new symbol for Trinity College would be Three Blind Mice.

Joan has hit another homer!

Anonymous said...

Terrific job as usual. This site continues to produce excellent work. Thanks so much.

TombZ said...


What's next? Shakespearean sonnets?
Perhaps King Richard would take note if you wrote one for him, or maybe a soliloquy?

How 'bout Richard as Hamlet:
"To be (a leader), or not to be (a leader), that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer (silently heroic; yeah, that's the ticket!) the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (what's my pension worth now?), or to take arms against a sea of troubles (those g-ddamn bloggers), and by opposing end them? To die, to sleep no more (gotta stop staying up so late rebutting those blog comments), and by a sleep (go away!) to say we end the heartache (fat chance, lax boys!) and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to (when can I go see some strippers?), 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd To die (I will not resign), to sleep, perchance to dream, ah there's the rub (lower, please Miss Precious); for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause.
Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene I)

Richard. Richard! Wake up! Dante has Satan on Line 1 for you!