Friday, November 17, 2006
Good Morning, President Brodhead.
Did you enjoy your Cheerios?
Ready for your morning briefing, Dick?
Everything you need to know!
Prof Crowley wrote to the Herald Sun.
Unfortunately, he signed his name.
He wandered off the talking points.
It really was a shame.
Time and again we've told them, Dick,
To avoid this consternation
The trinity is... "American Pyscho,"
Racial Slurs, and Urination!
Gosh, Dick, do you think they'll ever learn?
Yes, he did just what we feared.
Tried to take on K.C. Johnson.
Called Cheshire some guy "with a beard."
Said his "source" that the kids were racists,
(are you ready for this one?)
Was "some article he read somewhere!"
No, Dick...I don't have your Tums.
Hey, look on the bright side.
At least Crowley did not opine
About our co-eds giving "hook-up"
Like Rosenberg did that memorable time.
Dick, don't look at me like that...
Please don't "Et tu, Brute?" me.
At least Crowley's stuff is readable
Unlike Holloways tortured screeds.
The alumni E-mails are pouring in...
Will they still donate and bequeath?
Your fancy footwork is falling flat.
Dick, please don't grind your teeth.
As for our fine feathered faculty,
My suggestion for the day?
Let's tell Ashley at the Herald Snooze
Ye Gads! Don't print anything THEY say!