Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Good Morning, President Brodhead.
It's briefing time, if truth be told.
I see you've switched to Wheaties,
Breakfast of Champions...how droll!
Here's an article about your speech
At the NAACP last week.
Much slicker, Dick, to speak to crowds
Than heartbroken parents in great need.
Did you actually link...abuses of slavery
To righteous relevance in this case?
So society's historic burdens
Fall on Collin, Reade and Dave?
Really? Well, it read like that.
"Black women commandeered" was your phrase
I thought they paid them $800 dollars
Your analogy seems strained...
Your speech exudes such empathy
What? No, I'm not being snide.
Hey, when the parents begged to see you...
It was expedient to hide.
You had to condemn them publicly
"What they did was bad enough!"
It was Duke's FIRST and ONLY stripper party!
You really needed to be tough!
When the McFayden E-mail hit
Why our position on Duke "Courses."
Was we may teach it..but if you quote it
We'll pretend it's an original opus.
Alright, of course...I'll move along.
Another op-ed in the Herald Sun...
Some student...Shadee Makalou
Yes, Dick ...that's the one.
Yes, she teaches our "Hook-up seminars."
Our position here is clearly vetted.
Students, do NOT pay strippers to titillate.
Pay us! Titillation for one credit!
But I digress...back to your speech.
Was this some Freudian underpinning...
"At the moment of trial we must protect...OURSELVES?!!!"
Yes, Dick, you're more sinned against than sinning.
Well, that concludes our briefing, Dick.
You must bear your "burden or your mission."
How you've suffered! You're the victim here.
The tragic hero in your vision...
"Oh, sharper than a serpents tooth..."
Dick, PLEASE! I've heard all these entreaties.
And by the way, Dick, I don't think it's wise
Combining Maalox with those Wheaties...