Saturday, December 16, 2006

Christmas in Hoaxland

Twas two weeks before Christmas, not much was new.
Down there in Durham, it seemed rather subdued.
News cycle was quiet... Ashley kept his street "cred"
With the pro-Nifong op-eds that danced in his head.
The bloggers and posters knew each Nifong shame.
They could whistle, and shout them, and call them by name.
And though things were slow, as the hearing drew near
Who, to our wondering eyes should appear?
But Cash Michaels, reporter, and Cassandra du jour
Nightly making the strangest discussion board tour!!
Leaving giddy warnings and predicting a quake
(I believe his exact quote one time was just..."S_H_H_A_A_A_K_E!!")
And Hoax aficionados like the ancients of Greece
Now found their Delphi...right at WTVD!
Some opined Cash knew something...right from Nifong's lips
Some felt...Bartlett's Quotations was an early Christmas gift
But then! A call for the Feds shook the Hoax to the quick!!
And Cash just didn't seem either...lively or quick...?
So after the taunting, the sparring...the quotes
Cash declared the game over and up the chimney he rose!

But more rapid then eagles, the bombshells they came!
We heard of a baby born just that day!
Five family members gave the new birth their backing!
So on their credibility...Greta booked Cousin Jakki!
But Cousin Clyde Young didn't laugh like a bowl full of jelly
He hinted one of the players just could be the daddy!
Now today we learn February is the date baby's popping!
Greta, Cousin Clyde Young put your Christmas stocking!

And the last lively elf to appear on the scene
Is the oh-so obliging Dr. Brian Meehan!
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
He shrank before Bannon as he tried to tell why?
WHY he agreed, after Nifong drove out for chats,
To just send a summary that omitted THE stats...?
"They agreed" to omit exculpatory results...
Uu-m-m, we just couldn't drag those..."hooligans" through the mud!
And not a creature was stirring as Cooney made him repeat...
"We agreed. We agreed." Yes, "The Client and me!"
And visions of ashes and switches beseeched him
When admitting he violated his OWN procedures!
And his eyes didn't twinkle when he had to confess,
Meehan's own DNA had shown up in the mess.!!!
Yet we heard Meehan exclaim ere he drove out of sight...
"I was only concerned with their privacy rights!!"
That's Christmas in Hoaxland...and to all a Good Night!


Tony Soprano said...


A check of the news and then this great thread,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

For the Prosecution, the same can't be said.


bill anderson said...

What a day, what a day! The Girl with the Pony Tail does it again!

Great work, Joan!

Anonymous said...


I wouldn't take these compliments serious b/c you're not good.

If the judge grants a change of venue, another jury will convict the thugs. The sooner, the better.

Victim in Massachusetts said...

Joan another great one. I thinks me be calling the DOJ and not write them again. For now we have proof that Nifong has broken the law.

emmy said...

Joan, that was awesome...just wonderful!

(Seems your posts cause someone to fret...they never miss an opportunity to take a pot shot...getting worried, anon? You should be! Your hoax is going BYE BYE)...

WePityU said...


We understand. Anyone without the reading comprehension or intellectual capacity to see what a Hoax this is, can not be expected to understand good writing. Not your fault.

You can't help it. You betray your own inabilities by denying the boys innocence. Maybe a remedial reading class?

You just weren't born clever, smart, or articulate. Believe what you will, dear. And Merry Christmas.

Anonymous said...

I'll choose to ignore the 9:17 loser,
while awaiting the "baby-daddy" results of the false accuser

Anonymous said...


The duke 3 aren't TOO clever,or smart either. They're charged with First Degree Rape, Kidnapping & Sexual Assault. You call that clever! Their names are in the system...branded for life on sex charges. Any courtroom in NC will find the punks guilty.

A white jury will slap down a guilty verdict as well. Most people don't like ARROGANT RICH PUNKS . The duke 3's reputation smells to high heaven. Bring on a location change & bring on the trial.

emmy said...

anon, you can bang your pot as hard as you want won't work! The guys are innocent, and Fong is in deep doo doo...his world is going to be rocked...yours too, if you actually think *anyone* is going to convict them! Run along now...I'm sure there's a vigil taking place somewhere (make sure you spell "castrate" right!)...

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! Thank you for using your wonderful writing skills to defend 3 innocent men and their unjust prosecution by an unethical and dishonest former traffic court da. (Please note: I do not capatalize DA when referring to the sleaze bag currently serving as the district attorney for Durham.)

Anonymous said...

9:53 hmmmmmm being charged with a crime that pretty much the whole sane world knows you didn't commit vs. having the world know that you had the DNA of at least FIVE guys in EVERY orifice that God gave you, and that you make a living diddling yourself with a vibrator for the amusement of others.... tell me again who is not too "clever or smart"?

Anonymous said...

Yesterday was amazing! 9:53, You might watch a little TV (we know you don't read well, dear) EVERY TV channel has turned on Nifong and is condemning the Hoax! Music to our ears! Every channel!

These dear boys will do on to have happy, comfortable , loving lives, filled with all the things you envy.

Watch a little TV today, dear. The Hoax is being blown apart. Your silly little comments pale next to the booming condemnations of Nifong all over national TV.

Anonymous said...

Your excitement will come crashing down soon! Word on the street is........

Anonymous said...

Cash told us all about the "word on YOUR street." None of it broke Nifong's way , did it?

We have sources too, you know. We just might know something YOU don't know that will blow your world apart!
Wait and see! Oh, what a happy day!

Anonymous said...

Joan Foster does it again. You have truely become the Poet that gives us hope and a smile.

Thank you

Anonymous said...

your world has been blown apart already.

1. Thugs have been charged
2. Case NOT dismissed
3. Case IS going to trial
4. Judge will NOT throw out ID
5. Word on the street is..
6. Victim NOT backing down
7. Judge will NOT change venue


Anonymous said...

Joan~Thank you for creating such amazing lines for "The Night Before Christmas"!! I only wish the last line could have been

And the Judge exclaimed "I have now seen the light,
Merry Christmas to all, these boys didn't do this that night!!"


The Collector said...

Thanks for your help with the change of venue. We do KNOW , you know.

You fall into it every time.

Anonymous said...

12:21.... hee hee you really are stupid..... and you do fall for "bait" every time... HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS!

GPrestonian said...

11:40 AM Anon:

Now now, that's a bit unfair. No one has suggested that they found any spunknstuff in her ears.

Maybe she's just not into aural sex? ;>)

...vs. having the world know that you had the DNA of at least FIVE guys in EVERY orifice that God gave you...

Anonymous said...

Too many players to keep up with!

Who is the Clyde Young that Joan refers to in her poem? Is that Jakki's nom-de-notagirl?

Tony Soprano said...



It's more then funny, it's TRUE.

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

To those who beleive the Duke Three are arrogant and guilty:
Have you ever met them or, are you envious that they represent everything you are not?
Also, I'd be glad to listen to your side of the story... please pst some forensic proof a rape occurred. (we all know Precious is not truthful).
We all know we can accuse each other, or anyone of a crime. Are we being truthful? maybe yes, maybe no.
So, Precious was in so much pain and emotional distress after her "trauma" at the party, it seems that she engaged in some sexual satisfaction to forget her dismiss!
I can't wait for a trial to begin!
This will be the best entertainment of the century!
The Duk e Three will end up being awarded millions (rightfully so) after damages are awarded!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the naked resentment of the trash from Durham is just amazing.

And those three boys are building up such cred with the people that matter in society.

Anonymous said...


-Contradicting stories
-slut woman with DNA of several other men in her mouth, panties, and anus (class act)
-back to stripping 2 weeks later
-back to having unprotected random sex and getting knocked up 2 weeks after her "attack"
-Volumes of exculpatory evidence
-Every news program on hand with the accused
-accused aren't bipolar
-accuser made exact same ccusations 10 years ago
-reade wasn't even there
-Faulty IDing process=ID will be inadmissible in court
-DA hasn't even talked to the accuser...apparently she was too traumatized to talk to a white man, but not too traumatized to strip her clothes off for white men at the club

At the end of the day, these three men will go free, continue on with their blessed lives-get good jobs, work hard, raise a family and give them every benefit, get married, have a home, and a family life...this woman will continue to have sex with strangers, get knocked up with illegitimate children, and take 3 credits a semester for the next 10 years to maybe get an AD in (chuckles) criminal justice, and be considered a slut and whore a liar and the person who single handedly set off race relations in durham for the rest of her life...whose life would you take?

Kemper said...

I have posted before that a Bar contact has told me Nifungu was to be summons by the Bar for misconduct before Christmas. In light of Friday's testimony the summons will have to be ammended to include more serious charges. The Bar does not meet again until Jan. Expect them to seek his disbarment. He will not be summoned until after the Jan meeting. They ARE Pissed.

Anonymous said...

WEEEEEEEEEEEE..... Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out Mikey boy!!!!
They should be pissed Nifong has given the entire state of NC and their judicial system a black eye

Anonymous said...

your all a bunch of racists! how can you say the state will disbar this man, he is standing up for civil rights when everyone else is tryin to push him down. no good thug rich white boys think they can get away with hruting a woman like that, that's not how it goes in NC. Maybe they can do that up north but here in the south we believe in justice! I cant believe you people would side with rapists and a*sholes like the duke 3 just because they are white....what, are you soooo afraid that black people might gain a little bit of power? your running scared, you KNOW the DA has something up his sleeve...i wouldnt be surprised if he had another player ready to testify that he saw or heard the guy on that team has to have SOME ethics.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone find it curious as to the timing of the due date for the baby for CGM? Anyone as sexually promiscuous as she has been has used birth control in the past, and I'm suspicious that this pregnancy was planned by someone who knows how to work the system. Do you suppose one might reason that, given you were caught in a big lie for which you might get jail time, you might reason that a woman with a newborn baby would likely receive a lesser sentence?

Anonymous said...

5:32 Hahahahahahah,,,,, yes, Nifong does have something up his sleeve..... his, soon to be, disbarred arm!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, having a baby is CGM's "MO" that is how she got out of the service, she got herself knocked up, so she could get out, but still get the benefits... quite a gal!

Anonymous said...

to 5:32

You are a racist. How do you know what race anybody on this board is. Why does it matter what color the defendants are? I have devoted thousands of hours to helping victimized african-american defendants; how about you.

Anonymous said...

No, 5:32, doesn't spend his/her time helping others he/she is too busy thinking of ways to blame other people for everything that is wrong in the world. How much easier to call people "racists" and despise people who have things you don't rather than work hard and try to achieve things on your own, or to **gasp** help others.

theman said...

Doesn't anyone get it yet, Nifong already conceded that he has no DNA evidence from the Duke guys. He stated he didn't need it to proceed, he was going to get a conviction the old fashion way. Why make such a big deal out of nothing. He will get a conviction on at least one charge, remember there are 3 charges.

Anonymous said...

Hey racist klantheman

Nifong does have DNA evidence, it proves that the three were not present.

Anonymous said...

5:32 is a good example why education is important

Victim in Massachusetts said...

6:01 The city of Durham brought this on to themselves and they had a helping hand by the racist group the NBPP a bunch or thugs.

Anonymous said...

The Man-

He'll get at least one charge? Wrong, if one charge is proven to be false (i.e.: the jury finds no rape occured) it is horribly unlikely that the jury will think this woman was telling the truth about assault and kidnapping...what, did she screw up the rape charge, but no she was definitely positive that she was kidnapped...How can you be found guilty for something if it never happened?