Saturday, March 03, 2007

How do we solve a problem like Mike Nifong

The State Bar Chorus Sings:
How do we solve a problem like Mike Nifong
Now that he's got the whole world looking in?
Do we say that he's A-ok?
We do these things everyday?
We allow ANYTHING to get the State a win?
How do we solve a problem like Mike Nifong?
If only he'd kept his sorry act in town!
But 75 times or more...
He shot his mouth on his media tour!
(Thank God!, Jay Leno must have turned him down!)
How do we solve a problem like Mike Nifong?
He says he can't remember where he was!
Should we assert these are not "lies"
Like Crystal, he's traumatized!
So of course his memory's morphing into fuzz!
How do we solve a problem like Mike Nifong?
He responding to ALL that he's done nothing wrong!
And of course, his defiance implies
In the past we averted our eyes...
He's implying the Bar would usually play along!
So-o-o, how do we solve a problem like Mike Nifong?
He's become Carolina's national disgrace!
So... as we are judging His Hoax...
The fool has put us in a tricky place!
He's wants us to tell the world that he is blameless!
North Carolina law supports the things he did!
He wants us to canonize him
Absolve, or perhaps advise him,
And send him back to Durham, with a grin!
How do we solve a problem like Mike Nifong?
It's unlikely we can get the Fool to budge!
He ruined three kids to stay in place
But...we COULD use our USUAL saving grace...
Appoint him "administrator" or make the man a judge!
How do we solve a problem like Mike Nifong...?
Oh-h-h-h, how do we see manure and call it...fudge!!!
Joan Foster


madder than a hornet said...

What good friends liestoppers are to the lax family and injustice. You take humor and expose the depth of fong's depravity. thank you

Joan Collins said...

Bravo, Joan.

Anonymous said...

Too funny. You have to get a recording made of that. Proceeds to the LAX defense fund.

Anonymous said...

And there won't be a dry eye in the house when Rev. Brad and the other Brothers of Defense, backed up by the N&O reporting staff, sing that moving hymn to the spirit of investigation:

Comb ev'ry file box!
Lift ev'ry lid.
Look in ev'ry cranny,
Where evidence is hid.


That Durham D.A.,
He's as mean as they come.
Keep an eye on that boy, or he might steal your bum!

(Rising orchestra crescendo)

So, comb ev'ry file box,
Turn every stone,
Question every statement
'Til -- your -- man -- goes --

Anonymous said...

Joan! Fabulous as always!

How do you stop a liar and put him down?

He is not a will of a whisp - but he is, in fact, a clown!

Far flung Jen

Svolich said...

Thanks, Joan. I knew someone would run with it.

I've been noodling with more

Liars with badges and judges corrupted.
College heads dodging the teachers they trusted.
Once they conspired but soon they will sing
That will be one of my favoirite things...

I see 5 years going on 10 years
What can a lawyer do??

Of course, So Long, Farewell hardly needs any work at all.

Anonymous said...

There are no consequences for his actions. So it goes.....right to the top with all the crooked, lying, thieving weasels in between.
If a branch of the government thinks of us and refers to us as "slime" (IRS) do you think they will take us seriously and try to eliminate these wrong-doers? You
answer that one.

gc said...


I love the cartoon. Only wish rather than a broom, Nifong was holding a broom!

gc said...


Only wish rather than a guitar, Nifong was holding a broom!

bill anderson said...


You are the best!

Durham is alive,
With the sound of lying...
With lies Crystal told,
Through a thousand tears.

Durham is alive,
With the sound of lying...
Nifong and the truth,
Are such enemies.

Right now, I cannot think of anymore, but that is a start.

GS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GS said...

destorying NC Justice system in the world's eye.

I have read articles on Nifong at sites in England, australia, and New Zeland.

Anonymous said...

Who would have thought it? Hometown Hoax has gone International! The World is Alive with the Sound of Nifong!

I heard the word "Railroaded" is upset because "Nifonged" is being used more often!

A Word War.

Anonymous said...

continue to make your little bad poems and songs. remember he who laughs last laughs best. you will not be laughing when coman makes his announcement.