No wonder Crystal was a hero
To the locals around town!
Taken to their bosom...
A Queen without a crown.
I've finally discovered
The secret of her sweet success:
In a town comprised of liars
Crystal ranked among their best!
Oh, perhaps not her presentation...
Baker was more polished, yes.
When he vouched for her "consistency"
Without blushing, to the press.
But she was certainly audacious.
Her only challenger, perhaps,
Was Wahneema...adding whole departments(!!!)
To her outrageous "Listening Ad."
But she could spin a tale like Gottlieb
And many more with impunity.
She could duck and weave like local lawyers
Defending Nifong on TV.
So many lies and obfuscations
In Queen Crystal's "back up Band!"
Remember "blunt force trauma"?
Remember Meehan on the stand?
The "inaccuracies" in coverage
In the local Durham Press!
The NC-NAACP case Narrative!
Hometown fibbers sure impressed!
In Durham they appreciate
Lying as "creative art."
They expect everyone to do it.
It's savvy and it's smart.
From the police force to politicos
To a "lady on the street."
Cover up! Make it up!
Deny! Invent! Mis-speak!
And Crystal found her consort.
In Mike Nifong the D.A.
They represent the Durham credo:
"A Good Lie Can Save The Day!"
Only in the town of Durham
Where lying is the local sport
Could Crystal find herself an equal
A world class liar of her sort.
Duly chosen and elected
By a majority of folks
Who saw Nifong's lying expertise
And so, offered up their votes.
And now the ever absent Chalmers
Needs to get into the game.
He now backs Crystal's "credibility"
At the eleventh hour, without shame.
Yes, Durham loves its liars.
And they all protect their own:
Cronies, Cops, and Crystal...
As long as they're "home-grown."