It's because I was a dope.
I was very inexperienced,
So I didn't know the ropes.
I thought I could say anything.
Oops! Oh well, my bad.
Who knew that all my pandering
Would make the locals mad?
When I heard the house was empty
"There's the smoking gun!" I cried!
They should have been home waiting
In case Crystal's pimp dropped by.
So no wonder I was so convinced.
I yelled, "Himan, it's a go!"
He tried to wimp around with me,
But I just told him, "No!"
So I snickered at the hearing
About Seligmann's alibi...
My good Bud, ole Judge Stephens
Was glad to let it by.
About that press attention?
Hey, they all came to me!
I just pounded on the race card.
Until the locals went crazy
I assured them it was brutal.
I assured them it was rape.
Then I just went quiet ...
No "hooligan" would escape.
I'm more sinned against than sinning.
A novice newly on the job.
And now like widdle Paris
I want my mommy (Sob! Sob! Sob!)