Friday, August 25, 2006

Duff Wilson's Lament

I've got this job at NYT
Yeah, I'm happy to be here
Sure, our readership is dropping off
(we don't mention Jason Blair)
Our "agendas" match up well
So it's been a decent gig.
But every writer has a DREAM
To some day make it BIG!!
To write The GREAT American Novel
To be pursued by Random House
So when my cell phone rang that day
My heart was in my mouth!
"We read that Duke Lacrosse piece
We're trembling with desire
Imagination, fancy, oh, that prose
Words that set the page on fire!
This mind might create a new Harry Potter!
A Stephen King with his horror speil... ..!
Oh, no, dear Duff we don't mean YOU...?
But....your Gottlieb's getting..... A BOOK DEAL!!!
So that's the way it all played out
While I sit here taking orders
From editors and publishers
Gottlieb's signing books at Borders.


Anonymous said...

SWEET POEM! Love it!

Someone needs to tell the Bald Sgt. that you can't call the Bookie and bet on Sunday's game, the following Monday.

The Bald Sgt may have been trying to save his own ass, in part. He had earlier, it seemed, falsified affidavits by swearing that the Medical records stated the woman was injured consistently with being sexually assaulted vaginally and ANALLY.

That part of his magic notes personally serves him - he probably felt pressured to do that, and if he's already manipulating evidence and producing a fictional account of the Nurse's "testimony" in effect - why not shoot for the stars and fix everything in the case?

Baldie's Opus is sure a thing of beauty - how many detectives keeping notes in a criminal investigation write about a victim's Naval career, her divorce, separation, children - from 10 years prior? But, he really takes the cake when the Time's has him writing this "She conveyed pain in her facial expressions as she ambulated..."

OMG, we have Miss Cleo, Stephen King, and a Grand Wizard all wrapped into one in this guy.


Anonymous said...

Is that an asshat?

Anonymous said...

Yep. That is definitely an asshat.