Saturday, October 07, 2006
If the Walls could Talk...at the N&O
On March 25...WHAT DID THEY KNOW...????
The Marching Orders...
Remember this story's dynamite.
We'll only print the facts.
Now if the neighbors say the guys are creeps,
Those certainly are facts.
Yes, we like the "swagger" word.
Yes, print the public urination.
Our readers have a right to know
This crucial information.
Now, that stuff the Shy One said about Kim,
There's just no documentation.
We can't accuse that sweet young thing
Without verifying information.
And stuff about the Shy One's life,
No need to drag that up.
Mention the Naval service.
My God! Folks eat that up!
Say she only danced this once,
A "performance obligation."
(We use those words at the N&O
In these “special situations.")
Take all good things you hear of her,
Make our readers weep.
Meanwhile print up the Wanted Poster,
Scare those damn players off the street!
Use "victim", "victim" every time,
Just weigh the public psyche down.
Get Ruth to write a righteous piece,
In time for the Panthers parade in town!
Make her so pure and them so vile,
The public won't be sated.
They'll buy our paper, we'll trump this up,
Those boys will be so hated!
And while writing about Nifong,
Do not forget to mention
“Gush! Gush! He is so confident!”
Let's get him lots of admiration!
And never, never, will we tell
The "real stuff" that…well, marred our "visions."
The public has NO need to know
What THEY KNOW are ...just OUR decisions!
Because they tell us only what they feel we need to know...this poetic instruction is, of course...imaginary.