D.A.M.N. Appreciation Week Scandals!

Scandal Erupts in D.A.M.N. Appreciation Week!
DNA Results Missing from Judge Stephens DNA Derby

Organizers of D.A.M.N. week were forced to admit that DNA results from Judge Stephens DNA Derby are missing and presumed lost. The details of what happen to the swabs taken by Nurse Levity are still sketchy at this time. When contacted by this reporter Nurse Levity swears she personally gave the swabs to Dr. Meehan after the event and saw him drive off with them in a Carolina Ale House cooler. Nurse Levity admitted she was confused because the Organizing Committee gave her various versions of what to do with the swabs, and even at one time was ordered to discard them. Nurse Levity did admit she had been questioned by Baldo over the incident. Although she shouldn't be talking under HIPAA, she wanted to clear the matter up. She was adamant that she did give the samples to Dr. Meehan, but couldn't remember if it was 3, 5, or 20 samples!

Reached at his Greensboro lab, Meehan was evasive when asked about the test results? “I did what I was asked to do! That is all I will say!” Asked if he knew whose samples were found, Dr. Meehan said, “Listen, I am down to running stool samples for dogs. My phone hasn’t rang in weeks. I thought I was doing a favor for Nifong and this is the thanks I am given?” Pressed further about the results and his lab he erupted, “Don’t talk to me, I’ve had it with Bannon!” When informed he must be confused and this was about Judge Stephens DNA Derby he was surprised and apologized to this reporter. He later admitted the results didn’t turn out too well for the committee but refused further comment on what he found. He, however, swore he had faxed them to Judge Stephens.

Protest filed over Dance Contest

On another down note for the committee, it was announce that Victoria Peterson has sent a letter to US Attorney General Gonzales asking him to investigate how four white men won the "Durham Dancing with the Stars" Contest at the Platinum Club. Ms Peterson said, “I like Mike and Bob personally, and they were a cute couple on the floor, especially in matching tights. But come on, Bourlon & Monk? They had no rhythm and wore business suits, which was totally inappropriate for the Paso Doble!"