Sunday, February 25, 2007

Nifong by the Moonlight Ball Cancelled

The Organizers for D.A.M.N. Appreciation Week regretfully announced that their final event of the week honoring District Attorney Mike Nifong, "Nifong by Moonlight Ball", was cancelled due to poor tickets sales.
Organizers refused to assess blame but did say they heard complaints that the invitations were a bit confusing. Ms. Waneema Lubiano, in charge of invitations, denied any responsible for the poor response. She commented,

“If they can’t understand my meta-narrative about Diaspora and its relevance to the plight of Humanities Professors at the Hope Franklin Center, it’s not my fault. It just shows you we need more diversity training at Duke and President Brodhead should implement the CCI recommendations immediately!"

One student who wished to remain anonymous had this comment:

“Isn't it bad enough that I have take to her class? Do you really think I would pay to have dinner with her? Besides I heard there is another Lacrosse game on Sunday and that it is more fun. You never have to worry about running into one of your Trinity College Professors there!”

Ms. Amanda Marcotte was notified that she would be not receiving any honorariums and should just turn around her pickup and head back to Austin, again. Later, organizers received this text message.
“Dear Right Wing ***holes,
"You got what you wanted you mother *******. I have had it with North Carolina! Kiss My ***
"Love, Amanda”
Victoria Peterson also reacted sharply, “Great, what am I going to do with all of the food? I still have leftovers from the luncheon!”
Lacrosse Game Results
The Duke Lacrosse Team opened the 2007 Season with a victory over Dartmouth 17-11. 6,485 enthusiastic fans greeted the Duke Blue Devils at Koskinen Stadium to the sounds of the Duke Pep Band. It was a wonderful afternoon of intercollegiate athletics. Families and friends tailgated before the game. It was a fitting end to the D.A.M.N. Appreciation Week!


Anonymous said...

I know what Peterson can do with the leftovers. Call Barber and voila! No leftoevers.

Howard said...

If you read yesterday's AP version of the Duke victory, you know that the "article" left no doubt in anyone's mind that the Duke players were actually guilty and that they were still charged. I fear these guys ARE labeled for the rest of their lives.

Bring on the law suits.

Anonymous said...

Some people will never change their views. Precious can admit she lied and ther will be those who will continue to beleive the LAX players are guilty.

The Duke Three need to continue beleiving in themselves. They will become lifetime sucess stories!

Anonymous said...

Waneema Lubiano, Victoria Peterson, Cash Michaels, Linwood Wilson, Mike Nifong, CGM, Jarriel, Fats, Doc O, Cousin Jakki, Aunt Shirley, et al.

There must be an escape from a French Mental Facility nearby!

Anonymous said...

Were is Aunt Shirley? Have not seen her since the beat up, swollen and bruised claim - that was not noted by the two Physicians who examined Precious.

Anonymous said...

Who will forget Aunt Shirley's Grunt? After a few minutes of interviewing Greta finally got Aunt Shirley to admit she didn't talk to CGM, she didn't see her head on, she saw her driving away in a car.

Greta sure knows how to find those guests. Aunt Shirley & Cousin Jakki!

kbp said...

Thanks again Liestoppers!

This D.A.M.N series has been great fun. Had to prep myself before reading it. Didn't want to lose control to the laughing. Hate to see the week end!