Yes, the papers have been filed
We’ll shut down that silly website.
Now… let’s see your happy smile!
No, they cannot pollute the jury!
They cannot speak ill of Duke!
We’re not some…. helmeted student athletes!
Right, Dick…“It’s not about the truth!”
And no, Dick, it’s not hypocrisy
Don’t listen to those fools!
Who say we never, ever broke a sweat
As Fong polluted … Durham jury pools.
Sure, we COULD have called out Nifong
On his “Wall of Silence” scam
We COULD have demanded fairness
Reined in Mr. “Chokehold-Man.”
We COULD have told potential jurors
Nifong wasn’t always playing straight.
But it was all so ..well, unseemly
So much outrage! So much hate!
We could have asked our Angry Studies
To just shut up and teach
And quit writing hostile op-eds
But, when THEY SPEAK…well…it’s FREE SPEECH.
Yes, an exchange of noble discourse
In the local Durham press
And , if it inflamed the raging locals
But, dear Dickie, I digress…
We DEMAND a level playing field!
Well, because…because it’s US!
We cry out, “SHUT down THAT WEBSITE!”
Or we’ll make a legal fuss!
These people are so clueless
What’s that you say, Dick? Yeah, “forsooth”
Last time it was THEIR reputations
This time , my God..it’s DUKE!
And if that jury did convict those kids
Appeals would make that “oops” seem funny.
Last time it was only just..young lives and jail time.
This time… Dick…dear God..it’s MONEY!
"This is a parody and a product only of our imagination, as no prestigious University would ever act that way!"