Saturday, June 21, 2008

Judge buys Duke's case that it stinks

Just when we thought Duke couldn't sink any lower.

Franklin, Ky., Circuit Court judge sided with a devilishly clever argument and ruled in favor of Duke University yesterday in a breach of contract lawsuit brought by the University of Louisville.

Judge Phillip J. Shepherd agreed with Duke's lawyers -- that its football team is so bad that any Division I replacement would do.

U of L sued Duke for $450,000 -- or a series with another Atlantic Coast Conference opponent -- after the Blue Devils backed out of a four-game football contract with three dates remaining.

The contract called for a penalty of $150,000 per game if a date with a "team of similar stature" could not be arranged.

Duke's lawyers argued that the Blue Devils, who are 6-45 the past five seasons, are so bad that any team would be a suitable replacement.

Judge Shepherd agreed in his summary:

"At oral argument, Duke (with a candor perhaps more attributable to good legal strategy than to institutional modesty) persuasively asserted that this is a threshold that could not be any lower. Duke's argument on this point cannot be reasonably disputed by Louisville."

According to Shepherd, finding a suitable replacement literally meant any NCAA Division I. Courier-Journal

Hat Tip: Tidbits


Anonymous said...

I fear this is a preview of coming attractions.

Mandelbrot's Chaos said...

I must admit that, as far as arguments go, I can think of few that, while achieving the aim, are as embarrassing. Averaging just over 1 win per season, their argument did indeed have merit. Even Ole Miss, the not-so-lovable losers of the SEC West, has gone bowling in the last five years (31-28 win over OK State in the 2004 Cotton Bowl), and Vandy had 5 wins last year alone. In effect, this was equivalent to a man arguing that he could not possibly be the father of a child because he has erectile dysfunction. Sure, it gets the job done, but does anyone with a shred of dignity want to win that way?

Anonymous said...

If I was playing for the Blue Devils, I'd run for the wrong end zone every time I caught the ball.

F Duke

Anonymous said...

This is a great way to recruit new players! Just tell them that Dukes attorney think they are the absolute worst! And that the administration hates helmeted sports ( and most other sports... except for the money it generates)

Boy! With friends like Duke, who needs enemies?

Anonymous said...

In your cartoons, you always show Brodhead covering his vagina. Why?

On a less serious note, I wonder how many contracts Duke lawyers enter into knowing that at least one provision gives them an automatic "out" because Duke sucks?

Anonymous said...

Sorry but I don't understand why the fact that the Duke football team is so bad was a winner here. They gave UL an almost guaranteed win which all teams need.

Worse still, wasn't it a home game for UL that Duke reneged on? Didn't UL travel to Durham? Then with typical Duke arrogance, Duke refuses to return the visit. Home games are the bread and butter of a program. Duke got theirs then shafted UL.

There must have been more to the ruling than Duke football sucks. Fact is Duke sucks.