Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Burness leaves Duke

John F. Burness, Duke University’s senior vice president for public affairs and government relations retired as of June 30th.

His personal actions in the Duke Lacrosse Hoax/Frame are under litigation in two of the civil lawsuits. Burness was the chief spokesman for Duke University during the entirety of the affair and will not be missed by the Lacrosse community. His negative comments about Coach Pressler caused Duke's settlement agreement with Coach to be re-opened by the courts.

As his legacy he leaves a path of destruction behind him.

Tony Soprano made up this parody.

Big John

Ev'ry mornin' at the school you could see him arrive
He stood five foot nine and weighed three ninety five
Kinda broad at the waist and bigger at the Hip
And everybody knew ya didn't give no lip to Big John.
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Nobody seemed to know where John called home
He just traveled the drive-thrus and stayed all alone
He didn't say much good, most of it a lie
And if you spoke at all, you just said "Hi" to Big John.

Somebody said he came from New Orleans
Where he got in a fight over Cajun food
And a crashin' blow from a huge right hand
Sent a Loosiana fellow to the Promised Land-Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Then came the day when someone asked them about all the lyin'
The weirdos cracked and adminstration started cryin'
The 88 were prayin' and hearts beat fast
And everybody thought that they'd breathed their last-'cept John

Through the dust and the smoke of this man-made hell
Walked a giant of a man that the professors knew well
Visited a Chinese buffet and he gave out a Groan
And then he went home and just sat there alone-Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Then came that rumble way down in the ground
And then smoke and gas belched out his apartment, he was everything but fine
Everybody knew it was the end of the line for Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Now they never reopened that worthless pit
They just placed a marble stand in front of it
These few words are written on that stand
Inside this apartment lays one shill of man, Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Tony Soprano


Anonymous said...

That is simply exceptional, Tony!

I love that song.

MOO! Gregory

Anonymous said...

Good Riddance, Big John Burness!

Some say not much has gotten past Burness, but integrity has escaped him, his whole life through.

Good Riddance, Big John!

Anonymous said...

Oink, oink!!

Anonymous said...

Tony, you've been holding out on us with this talent. Great song and lyrics for Duke's "big, bad John".